God, where are you?

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

 This wasn’t something I wanted to write about.  I didn’t want to admit everything was falling apart, and I certainly did not want to admit to asking God to show me a red bird.  But, the truth is this moment has come to mind often this week.  God is teaching me a lot.  And, the writing prompt from Faith Barista today is:

“What I’m Learning About Myself” 

This is what I am learning about myself, as I reflect on this beautiful red bird:

• When something is not going well, I tend focus on something that is going well (instead of taking it all to Christ).  For example,  If I have had a bad day at work, I may focus on my marriage, my kids, my friends, and what joy I can get from that to help me get past the bad day at work.  But, when all of it is crashing at the same time, that is when I feel desperate and alone and I think, “help me Jesus!”  I am learning to turn to Christ and lean into him even when just one thing is going wrong.  I should allow Him to lead me and trust Him with the outcome.  I am learning I need to connect with Him in the small pieces and the big pieces.
• I’m learning to talk to God with a sincere heart, and to be real with Him in saying what I think, what I need and what I think I need.  He already knows what I think but he wants to hear from me, and he is only a prayer away.  Always on call.  When I whisper my hurts and pains to Him, every exhale is replaced with his peace ~ even when the circumstances haven’t changed.  I’m learning to trust His answer is what is best for me and to trust His timing.  I’m learning to not linger in hurt as if I am in triage and trying to decide, should I take this to Him?  I’m learning to take it ALL to Him, the Great Physician.
• I’m learning I need to be reminded, and that means I need to intentionally remember.  I have to keep seeking Him and remember the ways He has shown me His love for me.  Do you know how many birds I have watched and listened to this week?  I still stop and smile at every sunset – especially pink skies!  When the enemy tries to get me to doubt, I have to remember the truth.  Jesus loves me.  I have seen His Power, and His Love on brilliant display.  These are great reminders, especially those in nature ~His Marvelous Creation~ that engage all of my senses..to see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to smell and know that He IS Good.
• I’m learning that I can read about the Israelites and think – “Don’t you get it???  How can you doubt???” and then at the same time think, “Wait, do I get it? ”  I’m doing The OWNit365 One Story plan on the Bible app, and I was reading Exodus 17:1-7 about the Israelites.  These words stood out to me in those seven verses:  Complained, grumbled, quarrel, thirsty, cried out, tested…and I thought Lord, forgive me.   I worry, I doubt, I complain,  and I wonder as I wander.  Help me to focus on you, and help me to turn to you and trust you.  Help me to remember your Truth, to know that I know that I know.  He is with me.  He loves me.  He is near.

Wherever you find yourself right now, whether you are face down sobbing into your pillow or staring blankly ahead afraid of what is next, take a moment and close your eyes.  Alone.  Turn to Him.  Whisper the prayers and desires of your heart to Him.  He will meet you in the quiet.  Read His Word, and let it speak to your heart.  Listen to worship music.  Find a friend to pray with you and for you.  Comment below or email me at journeypink@gmail.com – I’d love to hear from you, and I’d love to pray for you.