This post is part of the “Finding Spiritual Whitespace Blog Tour” which I am a part of, along with a group of soulful, journeying kindreds. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! The writing prompt today is to write a letter to your younger self.
Dear little girl,
You were unexpected, but you were not a mistake. You were chosen. You were created with joy by Jesus before anyone even knew you existed. Chosen isn’t a feeling, it is a fact. God chose you.
You are so brave. I know you don’t feel like you are, but you are really brave. You are so strong, and life is so heavy. It feels like you are carrying it all by yourself, but Jesus is with you. It’s just hard to see him in the heavy but he is there.
You are smart. Sometimes, you can’t remember where you put your shoes, or what was just said to you, but it’s not because you are not smart. It’s because you have a lot on your mind. Your brain is already working overtime just to make sense of your world.
You are so little. You are just a child. A tiny child who feels grown up already, but you are really just a little girl. A little girl with limited information trying to make sense of an adult world. An adult world that makes you so afraid. A world that puts heavy responsibility, blame and lies on you. It’s not your fault.
Cartoons and animation are hard for you and they always will be. It is like watching a silent film in another language. You can’t hear it or even read their lips. Life is not a cartoon. It is real. People are real and much easier to watch if they make you laugh or scare the wits out of you.
You will never like Barbie’s or Dolls and that is ok. Your favorite thing to do is ride your four-wheeler – alone for hours – on trails in the woods as fast as it will go for miles and miles. You love to laugh and chew noisy gum. And pop bubbles. It’s funny because you do it on purpose – even when it is just you and there is no one else to annoy with it. You will still do that when you are older…to the point that you annoy yourself and spit out the gum.
You don’t really enjoy piano lessons and dance, but keep at it. It is helping you more than you will ever know. Your love for music and songs will sustain you in some hard stuff. While you don’t dare write anything down – you can write out lyrics to songs. Your notebooks full of song lyrics help you to tell stories you can’t put words to, so keep writing, even when your fingers hurt!
God loves you so much. He seems really scary, but He is not. You are so afraid of Him and you think He is mad at you, but He is not mad at you. He loves you and holds your hand a lot. He wants you to know He loves you. You can’t understand it now and it will be hard for you to understand when you get older, but he will be relentless in teaching it to you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. The Fear you have heard about is real, but it is for the Big People. He wants you to come to Him…you don’t have to be afraid. Keep praying the prayers and rededicating your life to Him. He opens his arms to embrace you each time. He understands. One day you will understand. You will be sure.
And that song you love to sing and play on the piano? “He’s still working on me.” Keep singing it because guess what? He still is. He loves you. I love you too.
In the mirror of His word
Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He’s the potter, I’m the clay.
He’s still working on me.
We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand. Isaiah 64:8 NLT