I had a dream that made me afraid. As I was lying in bed, the images and visions that passed through my mind terrified me.
I have had my fair share of nightmares. This was different. It was intense and I woke up eyes wide, thankful to see my familiar surroundings and to realize it was just a dream. But, it wasn’t just a dream. It shook me to my core, and still does to even talk about it.
It was Friday, so I had a few minutes to jot down some words for the Five Minute Friday prompt – New. Then in the shower it really hit me. That dream. In the dream I had no voice, and having no voice changed everything.
My husband came in and saw me crying and I tried to explain the dream to him, but I was very upset. I had to leave, and about thirty minutes later he found me sitting alone, in the dark. He turned on the lights and said, “Someone’s here to see you!” I jumped up, snapped back and rushed out, to see the prettiest butterfly dancing, flying and spreading his wings. I grabbed my phone, and snapped picture after picture, tears streaming as I thought…
He is making me new, just like this butterfly. All of me is being made new, from the inside out, top to bottom, head to toe new. The beautiful butterfly doesn’t just get brushed up, filtered, or photoshopped. It is completely transformed over time.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
God is making me new, and part of my new includes voice. Voice matters – because voice is not afraid to speak up. Voice is not afraid to say no. Voice is not afraid to say absolutely not. Voice is not afraid to say no way. Voice is not afraid to say because I know. Voice is not afraid to ask hard questions. Voice is not afraid of anything except being quiet. Voice is afraid of not being able to speak. Voice matters and voice protects.
As I watched the delicate butterfly dance around, I thanked God for sending him to me because I knew it was no coincidence. For the butterfly to be there, for my husband to notice and tell me to go look, and then for the butterfly to even linger and strut was all a precious gift from God. A gift to remind me that God makes all things new. The old is gone, and the new has come, and the new includes voice.
I’ve written about getting my voice & finding my voice, but what am I doing with my voice? My voice is very familiar with speaking in CODE and much less familiar with speaking with clarity and truth. Code (for those of you who do not know) is saying little but assuming much has been communicated. Code is safe because it uses a lot of pronouns, and it leaves a lot left to question (just in case). The main message of code is: everything is FINE. I think I am speaking code now even as I try to communicate what CODE is! But here is the good news! I am discovering I don’t have to use code anymore, and I don’t even like to use it. I want to use my voice to speak truth.
But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code. Romans 7:6
Out with the old, and in with the new!
Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. 1 Corinthians 5:6-8
I want to be real, just as I am … a broken girl being made new.
What about you?
How are you being made new? What is voice to you? How are you using your voice?
Take a moment to pause and listen to this song. Look for the butterfly!