Be Still and Know

My word for 2016 is KNOW, as in be still and Know that He is God.
I wanted to spend time in the Word studying His character and His attributes. I studied, but it feels like I spent most of this year in a classroom or lab learning these truths hands-on. When I was absolutely terrified, overwhelmed and so very sad, I was reminded to Be Still and Know. I had to learn to just let go, and completely depend on Him and trust Him.
That’s not easy for this type A, control freak, and take charge kinda girl.
I know He knew what I would face in 2016, and through it all, I am thankful that I had this gentle reminder to focus on…  “Be Still and Know that I am God.”
For the month of December, I’ve been doing the Names of God Bible Reading Challenge with Rachel Wojo.  It has been powerful to focus on these names, and to let them sink deep not only into my heart but also into the heart of the little girl inside of me.

El Roi:  The God Who Sees (Genesis 16:7-13)
When I first started going to counseling for Childhood Sexual Abuse, I remember it was so hard for me to wrap my head around God being any part of the abuse. I loved God, went to church, served and worshipped, and yet I had all of these secrets stuffed into a locked box deep inside me.  As that box started to rip open, God met me in the midst of all of that pain and yuck.
It was almost two years ago when I wrote about discovering that God is El Roi.  It brought me so much comfort to know that He saw me. Reading it again in this study was comforting as well.
When I read these verses in the Voice version on Bible Gateway, these words stood out to me:

I thought about the encounter, the misery and the place.  I praised Him because even in the darkest places, we are seen, known and never alone.
I thought of the time where in an effort to escape my pain, I kept making bad decisions. I finally cried out to Him in agony, and there on those hardwood floors, He came. He rescued me.
There were other times as well. He saw me. He knew. He was there.
I’ve wrestled with the hard questions.  “How can God allow abuse?  Why me?  Why didn’t He stop it? Surely, He could have stopped it! WHY????”
Somehow, as I wrestled in that tension, I discovered the truth.
The truth is He did eventually stop it, and He protected me from so much more. Psalm 91
The truth is His timing is not my timing, but I can trust His timing is perfect. 2 Peter 3:8
The truth is He has restored and continues to restore.  Zechariah 9:12
The truth is He makes beauty from ashes. Isaiah 61:3
The truth is He makes all things new. 2 Corinthians 5:13
The truth is He gives freedom. Galatians 5:1 
The truth is He breaks chains . Psalm 107:14
The truth is He sees me. Genesis 16:13
He sees you.
He is with you.
He knows.
El Shaddai:  All Sufficient One / Lord God Almighty (Genesis 17:1-8)
I woke up and read the verses, but all I could think about was the song “El Shaddai” by Amy Grant. Back in the 80’s, a traveling worship team called “Witness” came to our church and sang that song and I loved it. They sang several songs, but that was the song I remember the most.
I started humming it and thinking of the words.
I watched the video online with tears in my eyes.
What a gift to have this song woven into my heart as a 10-year-old girl!
What a gift to cry in the shower as a 43-year-old woman singing, “To the outcast on her knees, you were the God who really sees.  And by your might, you set your children free.”
What a promise!
He sees me.
He sees you.
He is with you.
He knows.

Linking up with Suzie Eller: