30 Days of Truth: Those who hope in the Lord will soar.

Truth #24:  Those who hope in the Lord will soar.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 NIV 

Four years ago today, I took an incredibly hard step and faced the reality of my abuse.
At first I felt relief.
But then, I felt pain like I had never experienced before in the depth of my heart, soul and being. It all hurt. Everything.
There were moments of intense emotion. Anger, sadness, grief and pure rage.
I had a break between my individual counseling session and my final group therapy session so I made my way to a nearby shopping center and just walked the aisles because that typically helps.
Only this time, I was a mess and I could not shake it. I was sobbing as I processed it all while trying to get grounded by smelling candles, touching towels, and browsing framed art.
I thought,  “I am so wounded… So incredibly wounded!”
On the way to my car, I saw a bird sitting in the middle of the parking lot.  I stood there staring at this completely still bird. At first, I thought maybe it was dead but then I saw the eyes move. I moved a little closer and took pictures. I thought, “God what are you saying???  Pink Skies, Birds – you have my attention! What are you trying to say to me?”
This poor, wounded bird was freaking me out and it wouldn’t move. It just sat there, frozen.
Then it started to chirp,  and I started to video. Here is  the 49 second clip of what happened next …

It started chirping, hopping around and stretching its wings.  It was awkward, but that bird was trying hard to move.
I was crying again and I called a friend before going into the group session to say, “I am so wounded… But eventually I will fly!  I just need to start chirping and spreading my wings … Taking steps that may come out awkward or look different at first, but eventually … I WILL FLY!!!”
I believe the Lord used that bird to give me the courage to speak up in that last group session… the courage to say hard things. We were given a sheet of paper to draw or write on and then share with the group.
I wrote the words Childhood Sexual Abuse in the middle of the page. I made it blurry because it was hard to say.
Then in green I wrote the lies and how it made me feel.
In pink, I wrote the truth.
I read every word out loud.

I felt shame, but I also felt hope.

I wanted to soar.

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] Will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.  Isaiah 40:31 AMP