I have a message from God in my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God
before their eyes.
In their own eyes they flatter themselves
too much to detect or hate their sin.
The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful;
they fail to act wisely or do good.
Even on their beds they plot evil;
they commit themselves to a sinful course
and do not reject what is wrong.
One day I walked into my counseling session with a poster (similar to the image above) that I had covered with Bible verses using a black Sharpie.
Turns out I could relate to a lot of these verses and they helped me to see that even though that picture was huge and my fear was enormous – God’s truth could cover it all.
It helped me to see something very important: Sexual Abuse is pure evil and it operates in complete darkness. It wreaks havoc on the mind, body, and soul. The shame keeps everyone quiet. The domino effect from any disclosure or acknowledgement is far-reaching.
This massive fear keeps everyone in silent denial.
I was incredibly afraid, so I took my fear and blew it up poster size and I covered it with Truth.
The Truth helped me to see that it was not my fault, and that God was bigger than my fears. When I let His light shine into the darkest places of my abuse, my fears were replaced with His hope, strength and courage.
This verse reminded me that sexual abuse doesn’t just happen. It is premeditated, and the abuse is repeated over and over and over.
I couldn’t help but wonder and cry out to God: What if?
What if we talked about Sexual Abuse in Church? If His light brings healing how will His light reach the hurting if we don’t let the light in?
What if I grew up hearing about the sin of Sexual Abuse in church? I heard about many sins in church, but not this one.
What if the church helped me as a young girl to understand that I was not bad, but what was happening to me was bad?
What if the church helped him understood how destructive his actions were? What if he realized that all five of my senses would remember, forever?
What if it never happened?
What if it stopped sooner?
I found myself pleading with God for someone in church to speak up! God, HELP!
He is faithful to hear my cries, and His Word is my guide.
My prayer is that you will search the scriptures in your own journey. His Word is alive and it will speak to you in powerful ways. Let His light shine into the darkness and may His truth set you free.
It was never your fault.
Your strong love, O True God, is precious.
All people run for shelter under the shadow of Your wings.
In Your house, they eat and are full at Your table.
They drink from the river of Your overflowing kindness.
You have the fountain of life that quenches our thirst.
Your light has opened our eyes and awakened our souls.
Psalm 36:7-9 VOICE