“The last time I doubted my calling was … just this past Monday.”
I shared this with the ladies in our Bible Study group. It is a safe place filled with grace, love and encouragement.
I explained that I was in the dumps, exhausted and overwhelmed. I was simply tired.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of hurting.
Tired of hoping.
When I feel worn out, the enemy is not too far away with that mean question ringing loud in my head:
“Who do you think you are?”
Then the dominoes of doubt start to fall onto each other:
“God’s not going to use you.”
“What you have to say is already being said.”
“No one wants to hear it.”
“If it is this hard, why bother?”
“Did God really say….?????”
“Again, who do you think you are?”
When these doubts swirl around me in the pit, I sink.
But, just this morning as I approached my office, there was a gift wrapped in tissue paper by my door. I picked it up and opened it to see a lovely smelling candle. There was no note so I sat it on my desk and went to make coffee.
When I made it back to my desk, I looked up and saw the word JOY in gold on candle.
My eyes were a little misty. JOY is my word for 2018, and this was such a sweet and timely reminder.
Who in the world left this at my door?
I texted a few friends and they all said it wasn’t them.
So I texted some more. No luck.
As I started to review the scripture verses for our lesson, one the of the ladies shared the song, “Reckless Love” in our group chat.
As I played the song and read the verses, the tears washed away the lies that were suffocating me.
“Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you” Acts 18:9-10
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. Acts 20:24
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35
The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.” Acts 23:11
Oh, to be like Paul. He had plenty of opposition, but he kept running the race. He was able to say, “My brothers, I have fulfilled my duty to God in all good conscience to this day.” Acts 23:1
The struggle is real, but God is bigger than the struggle.
I shared with my sisters in Christ how God refreshed my heart with a surprise candle, the timing of a song, and the truth of His Word.
I was still dying to know who gave me that candle so I could at least thank them! My sweet sisters encouraged me to just receive His love, and ask Him to bless the giver.
The next morning, I found out the candle was a gift from a friend who lives all the way in Indiana.
My heart was FULL.
God delivered true meaning to the song Reckless Love in real time.
He reached down and drew me
from the deep, dark hole where I was stranded, mired in the muck and clay.
With a gentle hand, He pulled me out
To set me down safely on a warm rock;
He held me until I was steady enough to continue the journey again.
Click below to listen to the powerful song Reckless Love by Cory Asbury – where he shares the story behind the song. As you listen,
- Think of all the ways He has pursued you.
- Remember those He sent to encourage you just when you needed it most.
- Reflect on the times He used you to strengthen and refresh others.
- Who can you encourage today?