You are a gift.

One of the biggest lies I had to overcome when I first started going to counseling was that “I was a mistake”.  I honestly don’t recall anyone ever telling me that I was a mistake, and yet it was deeply seared into my being.  

As my counselor helped me to unravel this lie, I came across this verse in the bible: 

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Psalm 127:3 NLT

When I looked at my children, I believed that verse was true with all of my heart. They were truly a gift, but why did I struggle to believe that verse when I looked in the mirror?

Why was it hard for me to believe that I was a gift?

Why did I think I was a mistake and a burden to others? 

My counselor helped me to explore all of the paths that led me to doubt and I chewed on that verse for a while. When I felt like I was a burden or a mistake, I would speak the words of truth.  

I am a gift.  

Children are a gift. 

You are a gift. 

It is a simple promise and yet it is so big. You are a gift even if it doesn’t feel like it.  It doesn’t matter how you were received or how you were treated or celebrated.  

Children are a gift.  It doesn’t say children are a gift when they are wrapped in shiny packages and delivered to perfect people in wonderful circumstances. 

It simply says, children are a gift.  So, you are a gift even if you were yelled at, or abused.  You are a gift even if you had health issues or experienced the pain of a divorce.  You are a gift, even if you were abandoned or neglected.  You are a gift even if you were told otherwise.  

Honestly, I really had to wrestle with this. As much as I wanted to believe I was a gift, the mean voices in my head would tell me, “You are not a gift! How can a gift be a mistake?  How can a gift be sexually abused? Are you really a gift?” It made me want to doubt the truth, but anytime those thoughts popped up, I tried to focus on the promise. I wrote the truth on an index card and carried it with me. I listened to songs (like Gold by Britt Nicole) on repeat because music is a great way to embed truth in my heart. Over time, I believed it: Yes, I am a gift. 

I love to shop for gifts, especially when I know it is something you will love. I will go through great efforts to get it, and I will be so excited to give it to you.  

It will be a gift no matter how you receive it or what you do with it. If you sell it, trash it or regift it that doesn’t change the fact that it was a gift given to you.  It certainly doesn’t change the heart of the giver.  

Yes, the world is imperfect and it is filled with imperfect people, but The Giver is perfect and He never changes.  He gives good gifts, and He says you are a gift. 

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Do you know that you are a gift?  Can you imagine being wrapped in the shiniest box with a big bow on top? Look in the mirror and look at the gift.  YOU.  

Exercise:  If you struggle to believe that you are a gift, take a moment to think about what gave you that impression. Pray and ask God to show it to you, and to replace the lies with truth.  Write out the promises and/or draw them.  When I was in counseling, I used colored pencils to help connect with my inner child to revisit the lies and replace them with truth.

As you replace the lies with truth, focus on the promises and let them sink in starting with this promise:  YOU ARE A GIFT!