You are held.
A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over my life so much that I nearly drowned. (Mark 4:37 rewritten)
I immediately panicked and put on the nearest life vest floating on the water.
Then I grabbed buckets and furiously worked to dump the water out as quickly as possible.
I cried and screamed until my throat hurt. I pounded my fists and through gritted teeth I finally yelled, “God, wake up! Are you asleep? Please help me! Can’t you see I’m drowning here? I’m sinking and there’s nothing else I can do.”
In exhaustion, I quit! I threw the life vests and buckets overboard and waited as the water continued to pour and rise.
I thought I was going to die. Just before the water got up to my mouth I whispered, “I give up.”
Immediately I felt him hold me in his big arms and I heard him say, “Good, let’s get to work.”
I laid there numb as the water stopped pouring. The waves were completely flat with just ruffles of movement. The dark clouds parted, and the sunshine warmed my face. Everything was beautiful and bright. I was so tired that I fell asleep peacefully in his arms.
When I woke up, I thanked him for coming to my rescue and saving me. He smiled and laughed a little when he replied, “Michelle, I was right here the entire time, but you were so determined to save yourself. You’ve always felt like you had to protect your world and everything in it. That feeling of needing to be in control helped you survive your childhood. It’s like a reflex for you.”
But now, that desperate need for control holds you back. It gets in your way and it paralyzes you. It doesn’t serve you well at all anymore, and it’s so automatic for you it’s hard for you to even see it.”
Now let’s try this again.”
My eyes widened as the sky grew dark. The clouds boomed and the lightning lit up the sky. My heart started to race and I struggled in his arms. The more I pulled away, the tighter he held me. I winced as the water came up to my ears and this time instead of screaming I started to sing. I clapped my hands and raised my arms in worship as if the booming thunder and lights were just a part of the concert.
A funny thing happened.
As I sang, my heart rate slowed down. My eyes met His gaze. The panic and anxiety slowly left, but the storm raged on.
It was as if I was floating on the furious waves. They continued to pound me, but I didn’t sink. The water continued to rise but I didn’t drown. The wind blew with fury, but I hardly moved.
Tears of Joy welled up in my eyes as I finally realized I was safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father. Safe in every season and in every storm!
I simply had to let go.
I had to learn how to part with fear and control, and how to link arms with faith and praise.Tweet
It wasn’t easy, but when a new storm arrived and made my heart pound instead of looking for a way to control it or manage it, I looked for his arms.
I remembered his faithfulness in prior storms.
Even though I still get scared, I sing out loud in my shaky voice. I lift my arms in praise through tears. I say His name over and over, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”
Music keeps me focused on being held. The praise keeps my focus on Jesus and not my circumstances.
Jesus simply looked at the waves and commanded them to be still. Just like that! When there’s chaos, seek him, praise Him and let His presence usher peace and calm into your life.
You are loved.
You are safe.
You are held.
Do you remember the last storm that swept into your life? What did you do to stay focused on Jesus? What song do you sing when your life is spinning out of control? What promise do you cling to in His word? As the storms rage all around you, how did you sense His presence?
Are you in a storm right now? I would love to pray for you. Please comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Take Me to the King by Tamela Mann is a song that has blessed me in all of my storms. I pray it blesses you.
What an intense story!!! So good!!! We have to give it all to God and only through God’s presence were you able to live through your childhood even though you didn’t think God was there!! So proud of you and love you very much!!! You are a wonderful daughter and Mom to my grandchildren!!!
This is a beautiful post, Michelle! I love that image of God holding us safe in his arms even in the middle of the storm. Like you, giving up control doesn’t come easily for me, but I agree, as we remember God’s faithfulness in past storms it can help us trust him more.
Love seeing how you have come through the storms. I am thrilled how GOD has given you written voice to share your journey and help others to know they too, can trust GOD to bring them through the storm. Can you believe one day you and I will join other loved ones and Rejoice as we kneel at our KING? My prayer is your PinkJourney will lead many more on the path to JESUS .
This is such a beautiful, powerful story, Michelle. I am still a work in progress in this surrendering. Especially when the storms rage. God is so faithful, isn’t He? Even when we fight for our own control, He is relentless in pursuing us and teaching us to trust Him. This post reminds me of “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns. Thank you, my friend, for this encouragement! Love and blessings to you!