This photo is a screenshot of me attempting to jump on a float in the pool. I will spare you the video, but let’s say it didn’t quite go as planned.
So, it is with life, especially 2020.
I’ve been quiet and absent because I’ve been waiting for a good and stable time. A time when there’s a familiar pace, maybe even a time when I know more or understand more. A time when life doesn’t feel wobbly and unfamiliar. Things have been scary and intimidating.
They still are.
When my child posted the video of me jumping on that float in our family group chat this week, I watched it over and over. I laughed. Sure, I had thoughts like “geez, I am fat!” But I also realized this video depicts what this year has felt like: Me jumping into the unknown, and wondering if I will miss the mark. Water may go up my nose. It may hurt. What if I regret it? I may fail, or worse, drown.
Fear has kept me by the edge of the pool for years. I long for security and safety, and I am highly triggered when I don’t have it.
A lot was peeled away this year, and I am in new territory. I arrived here, kicking and screaming, but here I am.
And I am not alone. If anything, I have sensed the sweet love of Jesus in surprising ways. I can’t say I’ve always handled things well. I’ve cried and had all night long pity parties, and His grace still met me.
His grace is sufficient, especially when you’re desperate for it.Tweet
Letting go is not easy, but sometimes He calls us to let go of the things that keep us from our purpose. They may be good things, but sometimes good things keep us from depending on His goodness.
Truthfully, I spent many moments this year with gritted teeth and clenched fists, wondering, “Why? It is not fair! God, please. WHERE ARE YOU?” I didn’t want to let go. I wanted him to help me. I wanted him to rescue me.
Sometimes, He rescues us by helping us to let go.Tweet
Maybe we have to let go of the things that have become our identity. They bring us comfort and security. We go to them before we go to Him.
Are you in a season of feeling like you have taken a plunge into unknown waters?
Are the plans you made on your lovely 2020 planner you bought in January turning out different?
Does the Vision board you made in December look anything like your reality?
You are not alone. There is hope.
In Psalm 34, David shares his testimony of deliverance.
In just the first few verses, he shares the key to thriving when things are not going well.
Let the afflicted hear and rejoice. His praise will always be on my lips.
When I was frustrated, I praised Him.
When I was overwhelmed, I praised Him.
When I was angry, I praised Him.
When I was miserable, I praised Him.
Praise did not change my circumstances, but it changed my outlook.
This song is one of the songs that changed everything for me.
Are you in a difficult and challenging season? What song has seen you through? Please share in the comments below. I would love to pray for you and add more songs to my 2020 playlist.
Let us exalt His name together.
Let’s dive in.
Song #1 Speak The Name by Koryn Hawthorne featuring Natalie Grant