Baby Steps: He is with me.

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I have always struggled with fear and what if’s. 

I worried about my kids and wanted to keep them safe. I rarely used a babysitter. I preferred to just bring them with us on a date rather than worry the entire time.  

Fear always rattled my cage but no one knew because I wore the “I’m okay, it’s okay, let’s laugh and have fun because life is good” mask.  Somehow, as long as I was dancing that dance, it made it almost felt true.

Still, the fear roared behind the smile. 

Just the thought of disclosing the abuse made me freeze with fear as I imagined all the domino effects.  I felt like I was completely and absolutely responsible over where, when and how each domino would fall.  After several fatal scenarios played out in my mind, I wanted to give up.

It consumed me to think about everything that could go wrong. Those life long fears surfaced and the loud voices in my head pleaded with me to just quit because there was too much risk.  

When I shared this with my counselor, she gently brought to my attention that God was big enough to handle all of the dominos.  He was big enough to work it out in those individuals and their hearts.  

I knew I was not capable of working any of it out, but I also realized that I was afraid to let Him or believe that He could.  

In the middle of sweaty exercise, it hit me.  All of these things that I do to protect myself and to protect my world leaves very little room for God to do His thing.  

Did I really believe that He worked all things together for good? 

I knew that my head trusted Him, but my heart was learning how to trust.  My head knew about His unfailing love but my heart was just starting to open up to His love. I wanted to let go of the fear and trust Him with everything, big and small. 

Often, I would remind myself and even say out loud, “He’s with me. He will protect me. He is in charge.” 

When I am tapped into His strength and follow Him, I don’t have to juggle and manage so much.    

I was used to holding on tightly and He was teaching me to let go.   

Let the Domino’s fall where they may. He is a big God.  I am His beloved daughter and I am simply called to trust Him and take the next step.    

It was time to let Him into the driver’s seat.  

So do not be afraid. I am with you.
    Do not be terrified. I am your God.
I will make you strong and help you.
    I will hold you safe in my hands.
    I always do what is right. Isaiah 41:10 NIVR

This is post #15 in the Baby Steps series.  To start at the beginning, click here.

Overcoming Fear by Trusting in Jesus

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 NIV

Fear has always been my constant companion. It doesn’t take much to trigger fear in me. I’m often afraid of something. In fact when I’m not afraid, I worry about what will happen next and the cycle of fear continues.

When I finally realized why I was so scared and that I didn’t have to live afraid anymore, then fear lost its grip on me.

Fear still visits me more than I’d like to admit, but when it shows up now, I’m armed and ready.

Are you ready to say, #ByeByeFear?

Click below to watch as I share my story of “Overcoming Fear by Trusting in Jesus” at the Hope Restored Women’s Conference.

Additional Resources:

Fight F. E. A. R. by…

F – Fixing your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2-3)
E – Engaging with safe community (Hebrews 10:23-25)
A – Admitting you’re struggling with fear (Psalm 34:17-18)
R – Releasing it, and replacing it with God’s promises (Psalm 56:3)

Questions for Personal Reflection:  

  1. What fears are holding you back?
  2. What lies were whispered to you that make you feel unworthy, unloved and insecure?
  3. Have you given Him full access to your story?

Key Verses:  

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Expecting God’s Peace in Anxiety

The Lord is Near.

Philippians 4:4–7  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I wish I could tell you I discovered my one word (Expect) for 2017 as I sat in a rocking chair reading my Bible by the glow of the fireplace.

Nope.

It was chosen in the middle of a full-fledged panic/anxiety attack while I was on vacation with my family. This used to happen often and while it is hard to even admit, I am sure I am not alone.

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It was not my fault (For those struggling with blame and shame.)

It was not your fault.Recently I bought my daughter a little red bag to use as a makeup bag in the future.

This morning when I saw the bag, I thought it could serve another purpose. I could fill it with feminine products for her so she will have what she needs when the time comes. I wanted to make sure she was ready and prepared. It sounded like such a great idea, until big crocodile tears rolled down my cheeks as I was applying mascara…

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