Expecting God’s Peace in Anxiety

The Lord is Near.

Philippians 4:4–7  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I wish I could tell you I discovered my one word (Expect) for 2017 as I sat in a rocking chair reading my Bible by the glow of the fireplace.

Nope.

It was chosen in the middle of a full-fledged panic/anxiety attack while I was on vacation with my family. This used to happen often and while it is hard to even admit, I am sure I am not alone.

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It was not my fault (For those struggling with blame and shame.)

It was not your fault.Recently I bought my daughter a little red bag to use as a makeup bag in the future.

This morning when I saw the bag, I thought it could serve another purpose. I could fill it with feminine products for her so she will have what she needs when the time comes. I wanted to make sure she was ready and prepared. It sounded like such a great idea, until big crocodile tears rolled down my cheeks as I was applying mascara…

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June is the New January (Happy Mid-New Year!)

Happy Mid-New Year

I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions this year.  I had dreams, goals and hopes and I even wrote some of them down, but not as a MUST-DO resolution. It’s not because I don’t like a list – I love a list.  I just tend to be very disappointed when I miss the mark, and it can cause me to just shut down and give up. I didn’t want to shut down anymore, so I decided to do something different this year.

I gave myself permission to just keep trying. I gave myself permission to fail, and I gave myself grace in the process.  I decided to not quit. I was excited and moving in a good direction.

I wanted to lose weight.

I wanted to be healthy.

I wanted to write.

I wanted to spend quality time with my kids and husband.

I wanted to go deeper in my faith with Jesus.

And then, without warning, my world was shaken. I was out of sorts and afraid.
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It is well

My soul is weary with sorrow

What do you do when you are laid low in the dust and your soul is weary with sorrow?  

I have been struggling.

It’s been hard to write. It has been hard to pray. I have not wanted to engage or connect with others. Old fears, lack of trust, and questions have returned and plagued my mind and sleep.

The mended places in my heart have been ripping open, and it is painful. I have been knocked flat, thrown off track, and it is all beyond my control.

Surrender doesn’t always come easy.

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