personal retreat

Lead me to the cross.

I’m so excited to get away and meet with you.  The car can’t go fast enough as my heart is pounding in expectation.   I sing to you to pass the time – do you hear me?  Then it is quiet again.  Overwhelmed, I feel the tears well up and spill over into my lap.  My lips are puffy and my eyes are smeared.  I am in sweatpants and I wonder… maybe I should have dressed a little nicer?  But you never seem to notice what I am wearing, the style or the brand.  You notice my heart, my mind, and my soul.  I am safe in sweatpants with you.  I can relax, be comfortable and just breathe.  You won’t even see the Clorox splatter at the bottom, as you will be examining the spots in my heart in need of your tender care.

Lead me to the cross

Only a few more songs and I am there.  I’m so anxious to see you, and to find you in every moment. No distractions. No noise.

Just you.

Help me Lord to find you.

Help me Lord to hear you.

Help me Lord to see you.

Help me Lord to know you.

Take my hand and guide me to your quiet spot where treasure abounds.  Fill me Lord to overflow with your grace, mercy and love.

Lead me.

Love me.

Meet me.

Lead me to your heart.

It’s here that I find you with arms wide open and beauty shining bright.  I start to whisper in your ear and you nod your head in agreement.  Yes, you were in the car with me.  You heard me singing.  You were in the mess with me.  You carried me in your arms.  You were in the chaos with me.  You were my shield.

You have never left my side.

It’s here that I find you and see you because I pause the distractions, and quiet the confusion… just to be held.

Remind me Lord daily to eagerly anticipate you like this!  You are always there, waiting.  You are full of everlasting LOVE.   May I always look forward to our time together just as I have this day, when all was set aside for you my King, in all of your glory.

Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
    a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
    when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

Psalm 51:16-17 MSG

Dare To Be Brave {five minute friday}

Dare to be brave.
Dare to be brave.

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. 

Psalm 27:14 (AMP) 

Brave is lonely.  Brave is misunderstood.  Brave is uncertain.  Brave worries and cries.  Brave struggles.

Brave is hard.

I wanted to give up being brave yesterday.  Still feeling discouraged, I met with a friend and was able to just pause and be with another brave soul.  I sat and listened to her brave. I saw her struggle.  I encouraged her and called her brave.  Brave is messy and tear-stained sometimes.

But God.

God is faithful.  He makes brave BIG.  Sometimes the brave is in the waiting.  He shows up every single time, but the waiting is hard.

Sleep was not easy last night and at 3am I searched the scriptures for comfort.  The song “Stand” by Donnie McClurkin played in my head. “What do you do, when you’ve done all you can?  You just stand.”  I looked up the word “stand” and posted 2 Thessalonians 2:15 on Instagram, and finally fell back asleep.

This morning, I woke up in darkness and read a new post from Renee, called Blessing the Soul. Her words, the word beloved glowing on that small screen, and the same exact verse was a gentle hug from God.  Okay, actually it was a big hug from God.  I sat up and turned on the light, and cried tears of joy.

The moment where fear and uncertainty meets His absolute LOVE is when brave takes the next step and keeps going.

Brave walks with God, and sometimes, pauses to be held.

Brave doesn’t just take big steps.  Brave takes obedient steps.

Brave waits, anticipates, and expects.

Brave knows what it takes to be brave.  It takes Him.

He makes brave happen.

He makes me brave.

He makes you brave.

Dare to be brave.

What about you?

Join the five minute friday party and write because #wordsmatter!

Today, the writing prompt is “dare“, and there is a giveaway!

new {Five Minute Friday}

Butterly

new

A new brain, that doesn’t work overtime to worry, fear and fix.

A new forehead that isn’t marked to say something is wrong.

A new pair of eyes, that no longer looks past what’s in front of them to a faraway place.

A new collection of tears for miracles to come.

A new set of ears, that listens for that still small voice and only faintly hears the condemning shouts.

A new nose, not afraid to smell.  Not afraid to remember.  Not afraid to connect.

A new mouth, with brave words of hope and delightful kisses.

A new chin that’s raised high, and new shoulders back with a new confidence.

A new stomach that’s redefining hungry and full.

A new set of legs standing for what matters.

A new set of feet that go where guided, afraid but not alone.

A new body.  A new mind.  A new heart.

Created by God.  Restored by God.  Loved by God.

made new

Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!  2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP 

What about you?

What is “new” to you?  Join the #fmfparty and write because #wordsmatter!

 

Hold On

It’s five minute friday with Kate Motaung and the writing prompt is:  HOLD

In High School, I went to a university for three weeks of Legislators School during the summer.   One of our community service outreach projects was to visit the women’s drug rehabilitation facility, and to serve them.

My visit was with a blonde woman whose tired eyes still had a spark in them.  Her southern accent shared words with me that tore into my heart-strings.  I’m not sure why… maybe it was because we were confined to such a small room, but in that room I burst out with some of my own personal struggles and confessions.  Our time was limited and we filled every minute.  The next day, she wrote me a letter, several pages front and back and had it sent to me.  In it she described how when she is down, she has to remember “to hold on for one more day.”

hold on

She wrote out the lyrics to the song, “Hold On”, by Wilson Phillips.  Nothing sticks in my head like a song that connects to a moment.  That song will forever connect to that moment.  A moment in time, where hope was found in the words “hold on.”

Hold on for one more day

 

Thank You Jesus, for that moment.

You used a stranger and a song to speak into my life.

 

Revelation 3:11 (NIV) I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.