Why me?

Where were you when you heard the bad news that changed everything?

“I wonder if I should I try Mango or Peach,” I thought as I stood staring at the aisle of endless options for sparkling water. My phone rang, and I thought I recognized the number, so I answered it. 

I held the phone to my ear and felt my body go numb. My legs were shaky. I could not take a deep breath. The most profound ache settled in my chest and pounded at my heart.

I wanted to scream.

I rushed towards the blurry exit sign with my cart abandoned in the middle of the aisle. 

The bright morning sun and cold air briefly dried my tears. I sat in my car and cried, “God, why? Why me?”

That phone call changed everything. Life before that day was completely different from life after that day, as if a permanent marker drew a line in the sand.

For me, it meant a significant career change.

Was it easy? No.
Has it been hard? Yes.
Is it still hard? Sometimes, yes.

But, at that moment, it was so raw and painful. It crushed me.

I could hardly go into that store for a while, much less near the sparkling water section. It was too triggering. 

But over time, I came to see God’s hand was with me. Even when I felt alone, he was near. When I needed a breath of hope, he would send encouragement my way. 

There were still many moments when I would ask, “Why me??” 

God sent me a song.

One morning I heard a new song called “Why not me?” by Tasha Page-Lockhart, and it changed everything. I listened to it over and over, and over time my perspective shifted, especially when she sang, “Now that I realize who I am, I’m alive!”

My circumstances had changed entirely, but my Savior was constant. He never changes. 

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8 NIV

He is my protector (Psalm 121).
He is the lifter of my head (Psalm 3:3).
He lifts me out of the pit (Psalm 40:2).
He is my comforter (Jeremiah 8:18).
He is my defender (Psalm 18).
He is my provider (Psalm 34).
He leads me (Psalm 23).

How do you handle bad news?
Are you feeling desperate and hopeless right now?
Maybe you are struggling with your marriage, job, children, or finances?

Your circumstances may have drastically changed your life, but God does not change. 

His faithful promises are true for you in every storm.  

Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change. James 1:17 TPT

Just recently, I went back to that store and stood in that aisle. I remembered how hopeless I felt about the situation. I thought of how desperately I wanted to fix it. I tried to turn it around. I wanted control. Eventually, I realized I had to let go. Today, I am thankful I did. 

I pray this song will encourage you to remember who you are and who He is. 

Keep stepping. Keep trusting. Keep believing.  

Why not me? By Tasha Page-Lockhart