Something changed in me the day I stood in the sterile cold surroundings of the trauma unit with a bright light shining on my daughter. To be honest, something changed in all of us. Trauma changes things, good and bad. It’s ripple effects are far-reaching.
My heart cried wordless groans for nearly two hours, the longest two hours of my life. I will never forget the joy I felt when she finally opened her eyes and spoke clearly for a cup of water. I was thirsty too, but it was a desperate thirst for prayer, hope, and healing.
What made me feel absolutely powerless, pointed me to the absolute greatest power.
When I knew I had no control, I leaned heavily on the One who Is in control.
In 2 Samuel 13, there is a story about rape. Tamar was the beautiful virgin daughter of King David. Her own brother, who was obsessed with her, devised a plan to get her alone. He grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”
“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. 2 Samuel 13:12-14
After she was raped by her much stronger brother, “Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.”
Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman. 2 Samuel 13:20 (emphasis mine)
That’s it. That’s how it ends for Tamar. A desolate woman.
Violated. Used. Abused.
Be Quiet + Don’t take this to heart = a desolate woman.
Let’s not talk about it.
BUT. We have to talk about it!