Embracing Christmas …when it’s less than perfect

I am all about traditions, routine, order, and knowing what to expect.  When plans change, it can be very triggering for me. Even something as lovely as a vacation can set me on edge and make me feel vulnerable. As much as I smile and delight in the fun on the outside, on the inside […]

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Baby Steps: His light breaks my chains.

Something really big happened in me during that facedown laid flat prayer time.  He lifted me and He gave me a voice, but He also filled me to the top with courage, boldness and passion. Something shifted inside of me.  In my group therapy session, she gave us each a small box, magazines, scissors and […]

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Baby Steps: He lifted me.

It was my hardest counseling session so far because I said the hard stuff. I slowly put words together to describe the darkness. I sat there and trembled like a child in tears and whispered about the awful sights, smells, and sounds. I felt a sensory overload as all that had been bottled up for […]

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Baby Steps: He fills me with praise.

March 18, 2013 My counselor invited me to join a small group of women for eight sessions to work on building shame resiliency in our lives. It was based on the curriculum “Connections” by Brené Brown and her book, “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t).”  I was extremely nervous about being in […]

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Baby Steps: He shields me from shame.

3/1/2013 I could only think of two words. Just two.  I’m angry.   The little girl inside me was awake now, and seeing things through her eyes infuriated me. My kids described how hard life on the playground was and it made me connect with my playground moments.   Seeing her.  Feeling her.  Knowing her.  […]

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Baby Steps: He washes me.

It was my worst flashback.  It felt like I was being crushed and my ribs were going to pop in half.  I couldn’t breathe and everything was orange.  I talked to my counselor about it and she said it was a “hot memory” and that we would work through it.  Flashbacks are intensely real, and […]

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Baby Steps: My Help comes from the Lord

I was two months into therapy, and I still hadn’t told my husband. I asked him if there was anything I could say to help him understand, and he said, “No, it is okay… just talk to the counselor. She will have better answers than me and we can just co-exist until you get through […]

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Why I Didn’t Tell:  This Is Why 

I was sexually abused throughout my childhood and I kept the secrets until I was 38 years old.  I started seeing a counselor and one by one the secrets finally came out like pieces of a puzzle.  It took over three years of weekly sessions to process it all. I still cringe inside and out […]

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Pink Elephants & A Faithful God

2016 was a rough year. It was also the year I was intending to put a lot of energy into my ministry, Journey Pink.  I wanted to write a book, which I affectionately called my Pink Elephant. Pink because I loved the idea of it so much, and elephant because it seemed so ginormous and […]

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