Something really big happened in me during that facedown laid flat prayer time. He lifted me and He gave me a voice, but He also filled me to the top with courage, boldness and passion.
Something shifted inside of me.
In my group therapy session, she gave us each a small box, magazines, scissors and glue. Our assignment was to cut out and glue words and images on both the inside and the outside of the box.
The words and images on the outside of the box displayed what we were comfortable with others knowing about us. The outside of the box represented how others see us and what we are willing to show others. This was mostly public information.
Whereas, the inside of the box was private information. The inside of the box was how you saw yourself and what you did not want others to see or know about you. The images and words inside of the box made us uncomfortable especially if others knew about them.
The room filled with the noise of the magazine pages flipping, scissors cutting, and pages ripping while music played softly in the background.
Words started to pop off of the pages. Some were just seemingly harmless words but they were very significant to me.
We took the boxes home to finish them, and I continued to cut and paste away. I found a slightly bigger box to hide my box in, because I didn’t want anyone to see it. I decided to cover the outer box with words of healing and truth. These words represented what I truly wanted for myself and this truth covered all of the messiness that was inside.
I was afraid to share my box with the group. I shared the outside, but not the inside. I brought the box with me to my individual session and showed my counselor the inside and explained what each side represented.
Creating this box was so powerful. I continued to bring it to my sessions and it helped me to find words to share how the abuse had affected my body, mind and soul.
The inside of the box was filled with shameful secrets and it was all so dark and dirty. All of those words and images kept me chained to the darkness. I desperately longed to be free.
The box was open now, and His light was shining into the darkness.